If you are pregnant and are unsure if you want to parent your child, don't let these common myths hold you back from considering adoption. Here are three common myths many birth mothers have about adoption:
Myth #1: If I Place My Child For Adoption, I Will Not Know Who Is Raising My Child
This myth could not be further from the truth. If you choose to go forward with an adoption, you are in the driver's seat. You can let an agency, like A Child's Dream, screen and choose the right adoptive parents for you.
Or, you can go through all the families that the adoption agency has screened and choose your child's adoptive parents yourself. You can even interview different families you are interested in potentially being your child's adoptive parents and spend time with them beforehand to make sure you are making the right choice.
Once you choose the adoptive parents, you also get to determine how involved you want to be in your child's life by choosing among an open, semi-open, or closed adoption. The terms you agree upon will be included in your adoption agreement. You can choose your level of involvement, from getting yearly updates to visits with your child.
The modern adoption process allows you to choose who will raise your child and your involvement in your child's life.
Myth #2: I Don't Have To Tell The Birth Father About My Adoption Choices
The laws vary from state to state regarding exactly what rights the birth father has. In general, the birth father's rights are similar to your rights as long as they establish paternity with DNA testing. If you know who the father of your child is, ideally you will make the decision to place your child up for adoption together.
However, if you are not in contact with your child's birth father, but know who he is, he needs to be notified of the adoption. You don't have to personally notify him; you can have your attorney do it instead. You will need him to sign away his rights to his child. Most adoption agencies also ask that the birth father provides their medical history as well so it can be passed onto their child. Having the birth father waive their rights will help ensure that the adoption goes through smoothly.
Myth #3: My Parents Have To Agree With My Adoption Choices
Many people wrongly believe that their own parents have to support their adoption choices. As long as you are no longer a minor, you have complete control over what you do with your child after it is born. Your parents do not have a legal right to take your child from you or determine your choices.
If you decide to place your child up for adoption, that decision is entirely between you and your child's father. It is not a decision that your other family members get to make for you. Most states are very clear that the birth mother and father get to decide if they want to put their child up for adoption.
Don't let the three myths above hold you back from choosing the path of adoption for your child. You have control over whom adopts your child and your future interactions with your child.